do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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