dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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