Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she peed on how many people?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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