I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize