Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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