This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
