its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
