cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
