I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
