oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
