i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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