I feel like I'm in dance class right now
North Korea, Best Korea!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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