i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
