Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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