You're completely useless in the revolution.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
