Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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