Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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