He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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