why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
