four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
