Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Sober January is a disaster.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
