Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Drunk walkin through police station. America
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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