recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I touched a dick in church today
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
