This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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