I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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