Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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