Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Let's get the cat blown out
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
