She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
