So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
