I'm gonna have a badass scar
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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