he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
