Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
