i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
