Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
