Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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