All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
