He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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