he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize