they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
