I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
