Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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