Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I supernannyed him into submission
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
