Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
