when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
