dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
