biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I will be naked everywhere
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
wow bdsm is so cute
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
