He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
cat food counts as protein by the way
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He shit in the fireplace
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
