I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
