But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
