are you still at the devil's house?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
