Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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