Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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