Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize