There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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