Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
