was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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